Good Girl.

The following is a hardcore lesson so I hope you're on your toes. If not, the punishment is a spanking.

In a BDSM relationship, a willing and desired power exchange, someone has to be on top. Unlike in vanilla (conventional) sexual relationships, in BDSM there is a reliable and generally unchanging power structure where the bottom craves following orders and the top delights in giving them. Yet this structure can be based on many different models. What they have in common is a set rule structure and the bottom's constant right to say no.

The crucial part to know is this: these relationships are consensual. People choose to express themselves sexually like this. Unwilling force is not okay. There is a huge difference between nonconsent and consensual nonconsent.

There are three main categories:

Dom/sub
This relationship is more or less the default. A Dom/sub relationship is when one is in charge (either the man or the woman, although if it's a she use Domme) and the other submits. The Dom will have control in power relationships like tying up someone instead of being tired up and being the one to administer some kind of punishment and reward system for the sub for breaking and following rules.

Master/slave
A more extreme version of the above. Instead of just listening to what the Master says, the slave will actually follow every whim of the Master, including when to go to the bathroom and what to wear. Slaves typically have little freedom or free will in the relationship, but it's always they who choose to have the relationship based on such a model. A good Master would never force someone to be a slave without consent. But once in the relationship, the slave has agreed to obey and serve only Master. Punishment and reward systems still apply.

Parent/child
This is a less intense version of the first. Even though the child has a more independent and self-serving range for his or her behavior in this relationship, the parent is the ultimate authority at all times. But the child loves making Mommy or Daddy happy and the parent always makes sure to meet the needs of the child (called something along the lines of babygirl or babyboy). Although most BDSM partnerships are loving, parent and child generally share a more nurturing facet to their relationship. Punishments and rewards are called in accordingly. The role can sometimes include age regression (i.e. pacifiers or wearing diapers and actually acting like a baby), but it isn't the definition for this relationship.

Another possible relationship is more of a subcategory of any of the above: pet and owner. Some people like pet play (where the bottom takes the role of a dog, horse, or pig) and if this facet of the relationship becomes prominent, the sub may become the pet and be collared (as in, actually wear a collar or a symbolic collar to show ownership). The Master always remains owner.

The degree to which each of these relationships extends is up to the people in it. Some slaves might want to do 24/7 where they perform their role of servitude at all times. Others like to only include the power exchange during sex and leave the roles out of other aspects of life. Such boundaries area always established beforehand, as are hard limits (sexual boundaries on things people won' do) and rules that must be followed.

Once guidelines and expectations are established on exactly what the Dom/Master/Parent requires and what the sub/slave/baby needs, a good sub/slave/baby will follow them and a good Dom/Master/Parent will listen if something goes just a little to far. Communication is key, as with any relationship, maybe even moreso because of the kind of play these relationships involve.

Long-term relationships (as in months, years, decades, etc.) should and generally do involve love. The top cares for the bottom deeply and the bottom cares just as much for the the top. They seek to make each other happy, just like in any other relationship. The relationship is legitimately and extremely loving and caring. Many BDSMers would argue that these relationships are in fact deeper and more caring than a standard vanilla once because of the power exchange that is included. Bottom and top go through deep exploration of human self, emotions, and limits so the relationship is on an entirely different level in a lot of ways.

The top will always take pride in the bottom, just as the bottom always seeks to honor the top. That's how it works. If anything falls through, the relationship will end and both partners will move on to play with someone else. In some cases, it's like a breakup. In other's, it's whatever. It all depends.

So. Did you pay attention, or are you ready to accept that spanking? ;)