Anal Advice

As in, advice for anal sex, not advice for people who are uptight and a little OCD sometimes.

Anal seems to be a topic floating around these days in general conversation so I thought I would take the time to address it.

Let me clarify before I get too deep into this whole discussion that anal should not be painful, only pleasurable. The anal cavity is extremely sensitive, with more nerve endings and blood vessels than the vagina, so anal can be an extremely erotic and pleasing experience. But you have to do it right.

Before I give you tips, allow me to dispel some myths:
1. If you're a guy and you enjoy anal play or penetration, you aren't necessarily gay. Sexual behavior and sexual orientation are two very different things.
2. Not only gay men have anal sex. There are a good amount of them who actually don't do it at all.
3. It's not uncommon for heterosexuals to have anal sex. Seriously. Penetration is penetration and some people really like to have their prostate gland (aka p-spot) stimulated.
4. You will not get AIDS from having anal. If your partner has AIDS and you don't use a condom, yes, you might, but having anal doesn't automatically mean you will contract AIDS. STDs don't randomly appear like that.
5. You won't get shit everywhere if you have anal. Unless you're engaging in anal fisting, but that's a whole different ball game. Generally, there's no shit up until the colon which is nine inches inside you. That's right, NINE INCHES. You'll probably encounter a couple of traces of feces on your way, but unless the object going in is more than nine inches, it won't be very much.

I'm going to assume that everyone knows what anal penetration is and just skip right on to advice. These tips are absolutely CRUCIAL so you had better follow them.

First and foremost, relax. Nothing is going to happen if you're so damn tense that you can't fit anything inside. The sphincters that make up your anus are very strong and the outside one is voluntary so you must calm down before anything at all can make its way inside. Deep breaths and a lot of trust are essential here.

Be gentle. You can't rush this because that second sphincter is an involuntary muscle and won't respond well to attempts to ram something in, no matter what it is you're trying to fit. Go slow and use lots of lube. Blood is a bad sign, but unless it's gushing out, don't worry. Just stop and pick things up another day to give yourself a chance to heal.

Start small. Keep applying the lube and start with a finger, maybe even the pinky. Give the muscles a chance to relax into the motion and get used to stretching out around something on command. Keep applying the lube and be patient.

Communicate. If you say stop, the pentrator had better listen. Don't be afraid to say something. Anal can seriously hurt if it's done wrong and feedback is absolutely crucial. Make sure the one penetrating you will listen to you when you tell them to change their behavior or routine.

Go slow. Once you can get a finger in comfortably, try two. Then maybe use a toy. Don't insert anything that has rough or sharp edges or ridges. Keep it simple and smooth. Anal tissue is likely to tear when assaulted with such additions like ribbing and it's plenty sensitive already.

Lube. I know I've already said it, but you absolutely have to do this. The anal cavity doesn't produce its own lubrication like the mouth and vagina so you're definitely going to have to keep adding it. Not only is it doing to feel much better, but it's going to be less painful and less likely to result in injury.

Once you're stretched out and comfortable, slide something bigger in (i.e. a dick or a dildo) and go to town. Make sure you don't transfer anything from the anal cavity to the vagina unless it gets sanitized first or you change the condom. You're asking for an infection if you don't.

If you're planning on fisting, you must work your way up to it and follow a whole different set of steps, so be really careful with that one. It's not for beginners.

Otherwise, just relax, pour on the lube and let the fun begin.